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Thursday, July 31

this one time, at field school...

So a few minutes ago, I was clicking my way nostalgically through old Christmas pictures on my computer when the Creepy Ice Cream Truck rolled by outside, eerily tinkling out "Silent Night."

Yes.

Naturally, this strange turn of events got me thinking.

I better write a blog post!, I thought, or everyone will think I was finally eaten by mountain lions when in truth I've simply been recovering from what was, perhaps, the most eventful and yet arguably least successful field school I've ever been a part of, depending on how strongly you feel that doing archaeology should actually be part of an archaeological field school.

To be fair, we accomplished lots of things during the mini six-day field school. For example, we accomplished not being eaten by mountain lions or attacked by zombie ranchers. Or cows. Or zombie cows.

We learned a lot too, which is, of course, one of the things Field School is supposed to be good for. You could probably say that we learned more than we accomplished, if you wanted to be accurate. But of course that's all neither here nor there. We're alive. That's the important part.

The first thing we learned was that our monstrous Ford F-250, aka Stretch (think stretch limo), needs to be driven around some in between projects to ensure that the battery doesn't fail the morning you are to leave on a five-hour trip out to the ranchlands of central Arizona.

I, personally, learned that when the vehicle you're driving suddenly loses all power on the highway in the middle of Phoenix, you're probably not going to be able to make it up the exit ramp. And Ashley and I both learned that I can be scarily calm even when it becomes clear that the accelerator is no longer functioning and we now have to cross three lanes of rush hour traffic to stay alive.

Also -- and we already had an inkling of this -- but now three of us are absolutely certain that breaking down in Phoenix in July is no fun at all.

We all learned that Stretch has hubs - and if you don't turn them when you want four-wheel-drive, you'll have to leave him behind at the bottom of that last muddy hill because he's simply not coming back to camp with you. He's a dainty kind of giant truck.

Twenty minutes after getting Stretch stuck, we learned that Dave can drive his Landcruiser, Omar, down slick muddy roads - "greasy" they call them out in those parts - like the (presumably) bad-ass cowboy he was in his younger days. It'll still take four hours to get back to the bunkhouse, but at least you'll make it.

We learned about how giant spiders inhabit the bunkhouse at the 7Up Ranch. We learned about climbing muddy, cobbley hills in the middle of thunderstorms. We learned that rattlesnakes can exist that don't rattle even when they're pissed off and at eye level with you. We learned about running out of beer.

And we learned about riding in the back of surplus Swiss Army vehicles called Pinzgauers for five hours across rocky volcanic landscapes. In particular, we learned a lot about fumes and about "cushions" and also about how if the Swiss Army ever tries to recruit us, we will say no.

Oh, and we also recorded two sites, which means we learned how to record sites situated in rockshelters and caves. Which is very cool.

Something else weirdly coincidental? Camping out in the grass in front of the 7Up bunkhouse is pretty awesome. It's super-quiet at night, except for that one amorous frog. In fact, you might say that every night was a silent night.

And of course, I have pictures.

Wednesday, July 23

be back in a few

Like explorers standing at the bows of large ships, pointing imperiously towards the horizon; like superheroes speeding towards distant deserted islands where supervillains have built large, unstoppable missiles that will destroy the world if launched; like dogs perking up their ears at the sound of the leash being lifted from the doorknob...we are approaching Burro Creek II: Return to the 7-Up Ranch (located somewhere outside of Bagdad, Arizona).

No, it's not the most raved-about movie-of-the-summer. It's...an archaeological field school.

And the Journey Begins Tomorrow.

Tuesday, July 22

either that or she's dying

I am roommate to the wussiest dog on the planet. She hasn't moved off her giant pile of cushions in three days.

Jenny: Lila, why don't you go outside and run around? It's nice out.

Lila: Eh.

Jenny: There's, like, weather out there. There's birds doing things that you hate. You'll like it.

Lila: It's hot.

(Silence)

Jenny: You're a dog.

Lila: I don't think I care for your tone of voice...

Jenny: Uh. I'm not sure your opinion actually matters in this situation--

Lila: ...and I'm not going out there.

Jenny: Oh, come on. Are you kidding me?

Lila: You go outside.

Jenny: Oh, look, Lila! Look! Look! I have a baaaalllll...

Lila: You can take that ball and shove --

Jenny: Lila!

Lila: I desire grapes.

Jenny: Right. Well, I can't give you grapes. They're bad for dogs.

Lila: (disdainful yawn)

Jenny: ...And, as you may recall, you're --

Lila: I require Pupperoni. You will fetch them for me, human.

Jenny: Oh, for --

Lila: Fetch! Fetch!

Monday, July 21

bittersweet chocolate chocolate

Somehow, three days have gotten away from me. BUT...MPBCPMS is not over yet. There's still intense fun to be had and highly efficient packing to be done!

It's been kind of a bittersweet MPBCPMS, if you must know, because we had Sara, Joe, and Baby Eli over for what could potentially be our last intimate supper together the other night before they fly off to Hawaii. To live. In Hawaii!









Eli knows he's cuter than you are.










I met Sara about two weeks after moving to Tucson seven years ago. We were working on an excavation downtown together. Every day it was 100 degrees. And every day monsoon storms rolled in at 2:00 p.m. So Sara and I bonded over Sierra Nevadas in the murky, smoky darkness of The Buffet - the windowless bar the crew holed up in to stay dry. There were weekend Bloody Marys at Bison Witches and enthusiastic afternoon games of pool, just her and me, at the near-empty Red Garter on Sundays.

We went to parties and barbeques, bars and concerts. We Jeeped around. We liked all the boys that didn't like us and didn't care for the ones that did. We cooked each other elaborate Valentine's Day dinners and then went out to look for boys who would agree with us on who liked who. Eventually we found those boys, but that came much later. We made breakfasts and lunches together, and she made me hike up that one mountain that one time in the middle of the summer before giving me homemade bread to make me feel better about the whole thing.

There was that one St. Patrick's Day when I got that late-night call from her roommate who was all like, "Where the hell's Sara?" and I was all like, "I thought she was with you". The trip to Puerto Penasco - Mexico - where we lost someone else for awhile but not Sara for a change. The Pecos Conference in Flag where we found Christine (but didn't realize it at the time). The countless nights spent out on Fourth Avenue.





Sara and me, pre-digitally. I don't remember whose knee that was. I hope not one of ours.

Sorry. You don't get to hear those stories. You probably have no desire to hear those stories. Trust me, though, those were the days.

Anyway, Sara was the first real friend I made in Tucson and now she's moving. It's the end of an era. So to celebrate and say goodbye, we had dinner under the ramada in the pouring rain. We grilled chicken marinated in beer and lime juice and ate it in flour tortillas with a delicious spicy white sauce, corn relish, limes, fresh-squashed Guatemalan-style guacamole, chunks of fresh pineapple, and coleslaw mix from a bag. And for dessert, we enjoyed a lovely, fluffy lemon icebox cake and coffee.

Ah, these are some pretty great days too, though, huh?





















Spicy White sauce
1/2 cup sour cream
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1 lime, juiced
1 jalapeno pepper, minced
1 teaspoon minced capers
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper
Cilantro, minced, to taste

Mix together sour cream and mayonnaise. Stir in lime juice until sauce is slightly runny. Mix in remaining ingredients.

Corn Relish
3 1/2 cups fresh corn kernels (roughly 4 ears)
1/2 red bell pepper, cored, seeded, chopped
2 tablespoons minced red onion
1 1/2 teaspoons grated fresh ginger
1 garlic clove, minced
2 tablespoons cider vinegar
1 tablespoon sugar
1/2 teaspoon yellow mustard seeds
salt to taste
freshly ground pepper to taste
Several fresh basil leaves, chopped

Mix all ingredients in a pot and bring to a simmer, stirring occasionally. Cook, stirring often, 4 or 5 minutes until corn is glossy but crunchy. Chill until ready to serve.

Saturday, July 19

baby-crazy

Okay, lovely, good-hearted, well-intentioned people with gorgeous, big-eyed children who are convinced that I will want a baby someday: Maybe. You're not wrong. Maybe someday I will want a baby.

But today is not that day.

And you giving me that conspiritorial, winky, "I know something you don't know about yourself and the inevitable ticking of your inner female mommy-clock" smug look doesn't make me want to leap up and go get impregnated. It makes me want to punch you and holler, "I'm thirty-two, you! I think I have a decent grasp on my personal desires, and what I desire most right now is to punch you! Also I want a bowl of cornflakes! With honey!"

This is a hard time in a child-free woman's life, this thirty-something period. Every day I have to ward off people who think I want babies deep down in the bloody bits of marrow of my being.

We dodge them on the way to work.

Raphael: There's one!

Jenny (swerving on two squealing tires): Augh!

Raphael: Why'd you swerve?


It's true. Someday in the distant future, when I am a cyborg, I might wake up and decide I want a baby. It would probably go something like this:

Jenny: I'm feeling dissatisfied with my life. You know what we need around here?

Raphael (hesitantly): Wha-a-a-t?

Jenny: A cantouloupe. You know what else we need?

Raphael: What?

Jenny: A new left headlight for the car. Badly. I almost killed a guy yesterday. Accidentally, I mean.

Raphael: Yeah, we do need to get that headlight replaced.

Jenny: Also, I want a baby.

Raphael: (faints)

Jenny (taps him on shoulder with finger that has been modified to shoot out crazy futuristic metal webby thing - very handy for reaching things on high shelves and tying up intruders): Well...maybe I'll just have one manufactured then.


I understand that if I had babies, I would love them. I'm sure this would be true. I'd love them like crazy. To distraction, even. People wouldn't want to hang out with me anymore because they'd see in my eyes that I find them about as interesting and attractive as an old fencepost compared to my kids.

But while the "Nope-don't-wanna" argument stands up when you tell someone that you don't want to go back to school to be an orthodontist, say, it has no power in the face of the hordes of people who think that you should have babies whether you actually want to or not. After all, the world doesn't need more orthodontists, they seem to say. What it needs badly is more babies. Babies! Rawrrr!

Anyway, the way I feel about it is, at least if I allowed peer pressure to nudge me into orthodontarianismery school against my better judgement, I could change majors. And marry an orthodontist so I could have access to the parties.

But you can't back out once you've committed to procreation, so you better be damn sure that's what you want. And I'm not.

Shouldn't that argument be the best one there is?

Friday, July 18

zombies peeing in the windows aside...

I have a brilliant work schedule in the summers. I don't work Fridays. In particular this is exciting today, because Christine did something to me last night that involved almost five hours, nearly three bottles of wine, and an entire block of cheese.

But, strangely, I feel fine. Better than fine even, because not only do I have today off, but also the next day, the day after that, the day after that, the day after THAT, and...then I head up to Burro Creek for the second field school of the summer. The one with mountain lions.

So I am entering the Magical Pre-Burro Creek Period of My Summer (MPBCPMS) for which I have many exciting plans (excluding the drinking of additional bottles of wine. Or inviting Christine over again. Of course).

MPBCPMS Day One schedule:

12:00 pm -- Lunch. Maybe there's a crumb of cheese left somewhere in the meat bin.

12:25 pm -- Call Nana. Get answering machine. Refrain from leaving message because blinking light will only confuse and anger Nana.

12:27 pm -- Play in Photoshop with the goal of fully developing creative side once and for all.

2:45 pm -- Celebrate new status as real arteest.

2:48 pm -- Call Nana again. Wonder where she is and what's up with her new hip, never-home-anymore lifestyle. Wonder if she's partying somewhere. Wonder if nursing home where The Captain resides is really front for West Bridgewater's most popular discotheque.

2:50 pm -- Create Burro Creek Necessities list. Include on list "no wine this time".

2:58 pm -- Take Burro Creek Necessities list to Target. Avoid buying wine.

4:15 pm -- Return home, fully prepared for Adventure at Burro Creek.

4:17 pm -- Putz around. Congratulate self on timely completion of Burro Creek-related errands. Congratulate self on new status as arteest. Wash dishes. Tear recipes out of old magazines. Make lime sugar cookies for El Guatemalteco in hopes of winning favor. Throw ball for Dog. Enjoy new, whisper-quiet swamp cooler.

5:15 pm -- Realize swamp cooler is very nice and very quiet, like kitten purring, but house is still pretty hot.

5:20 pm -- Tear off clothes. Immerse overheated self in kiddie pool with glass of wine.

5:23 pm -- Crap. Forgot No More Wine rule.

5:27 pm -- Crap. Forgot to call Nana again.

5:28 pm -- Crap! Forgot to nurture creative side. Already feel withering of arteestic abilities.

5:32 pm -- CRAP! Forgot to put deoderant on Burro Creek Necessities list.

6:15 pm -- Begin schedule for MPBCPMS Day Two: "6:45 a.m. Start over..."

Wednesday, July 16

How I am different than your average 22-year-old:

1. I am lame.

2. I'm okay with lame.

3. 89 percent of my friends have produced offspring.

4. Our parties are way lame.

5. But not because of the offspring.

6. I did not grow up on reality tv.

7. Unless you count Nickelodeon.

8. Wine.

9. Socks.

10. 9:00 p.m.

11. I wear sunscreen (lame), long-sleeved shirts (lame-o), and wide-brimmed hats (lame-o-rama) in the field.

12. Which means I am not tan.

13. And that's... Right.

14. Lametastic.

15. Actually, you know what?

16. Our parties aren't lame at all.

17. Unless you're 22.

Sunday, July 13

yeesh

The Guatemalan has lately been making me watch scary zombie movies such as 28 Days Later, 28 Weeks Later, and 28 Days Later. Again.

As a result, I have not been able to attend to the blog because I have been spending too much time slamming windows shut on account of how there might be zombies trying to get in and jumping at weird noises such as the coffee maker shutting itself off when it's done making coffee and being fearful of monkeys.

It's ridiculous how scary I find these these two movies. The ironic part is, I'm the one who made Raphael watch 28 Days Later a couple years ago because I knew I didn't want to see it by myself. And now he's getting back at me by going through an unprecedented Scary Movie Phase.

These movies are very good, actually, in spite of being so weirdly terrifying, so if you haven't seen them, don't take my abject fear as a sign that you shouldn't. Just be aware that zombies will start peering* into your windows at night and that you'll look at your boyfriend with a little more suspician and that you'll no longer feel absolutely certain that your parents would never eat you.

Hmm. 28 years later and it turns out I'm still afraid of monsters under the bed.


* When I re-read for spelling errors while writing this, I noticed that instead of "peering" I had typed "peeing". I almost left it like that because it seems to me that it might be an even more horrifying scenario than the one I'm actually worried about.

Wednesday, July 9

inca ready

People! They make quinoa that is red! And they call it "Inca Red"!

The name "Inca Red" is so exotic. It makes me want to buy more of it so that other shoppers can spot my box of "Inca Red" poking up out of my basket and say to themselves: "My, what an interesting person she must be, to be buying such an exotic food item, and probably exotic herself in some indiscernable way..." and then follow me around the store, peering around the bread display and pretending to be interested in the organic mangoes in order to get a better look at me in order to determine how exotic I really am. I hope they're hot guys doing this, these shoppers.

Anyway, I like the Inca Red quinoa and think it's probably even more useful than the non-Inca Red variety on account of its color. Which is blue.

Ha ha! Just kidding! In fact it's red.

Ways to use your Inca Red quinoa:

1. Eat it.

2. Throw it at people.

3. Hold it up to your wall to see if you would like your walls to be Inca Red.

4. Scatter it across the sidewalk so people will slip on it in hilarious ways.

5. Have an Inca Red Quinoa Fiesta where you serve only Inca Red quinoa. And lots and lots of beer.

6. See if babies will eat it without crying.

7. Throw it at cats.

8. Play tiny marbles with it if you have very tiny friends.

9. Party like it's 1999! While throwing Inca Red confetti at your peers! Yeehaw!

10. Take it on a kick-ass roadtrip.

Monday, July 7

the joy of dogcamping

So the extra food was completely unnecessary because Dog mainly spent her time not eating actual dog food and throwing up any that somehow made it into her stomach.

(Lila's stomach: "What the...? This is not Pupperoni! It's not even a Milk Bone! Or miscellaneous carnivore poop! Or a dried cranberry left on the ground by the firepit! Or that one thing I ate this morning out at that one place that I went to to do that one thing! In fact, this seems very much to me like...dog food!" Stomach forces stupid, evil dog food back up through esophagus while delicately holding its pyloric sphincter .)

When Dog wasn't expelling dog food, she was behaving as a perfect angel might, should you have the pleasure of taking one car camping. Just barking a little bit. Every once in a great while. And only at night, when things get scarier and your people, your sweet but stupid people, insist on putting themselves in needless danger by walking over to the bathroom or getting a sweater out of the truck or standing up.

Unlike a perfect angel, however, Dog did not fly. Although she came very close when we went for a long hike on Saturday and let her run a little. Down the hill! Up the hill! Along the path! Around the tree! Down the hill again! (Are you watching me, guys? Huh? Huh? Watch this - !) Up the hill! Down - oh wait. Something requires smelling.
I never saw Lila run so fast. I don't think I've ever seen her have so much fun. And I'm positive I've never seen her behave so well.

Thursday, July 3

"camping with dog"

Dog is going camping with us this weekend for the first time ever. And, like a new mom taking her excessively hairy infant on its first cross-country flight, I'm finding myself obsessively Googling "camping with dog" so that I can be prepared.

Bowls? Check!
Leash? Check!
Chew toys? Check!
Food? Check!
Extra food? Yes!
Pupperoni? Check!
Extra towel? Yes. Check
Plastic bags for scooping? Okay. Check
Rabies shot? Uh...check
Tick removal system? Uh...
Tether? Crate? Seatbelt harness? Mmm...
Benedryl in case of bee stings? Huh.
Socks in case of paw injury? Bandages that stick to fur? Certificate of health? Skunk de-smellerizer? Extra collar and leash? Tweezers? Bed? Tag that includes name of campsite or says "Contact ranger if found"? Microchip? Second dog, in case of loss of first dog?

Good god.

Do new mothers who Google "flying with infant" start wondering if their child will bite a flight attendant or attempt to pry open a window and leap out? Probably. Because that's what Googling does to a person. All those scenarios you didn't think about before have already happened to someone else. And that someone else has blogged about them. Trust me.

Before you Google, you think naively: "Oh, little (insert name of child/pet) will have a wonderful time flying/camping! Maybe someday, s/he will look back fondly on this great adventure and decide to become a pilot/flight attendant/park ranger/pet who camps regularly!"

Halfway through Googling, you're thinking: "Holy crap. I can't let little (insert name of child/pet) go flying/camping! It's going to be an unmitigated disaster! S/he's not up on her/his shots! I can't possibly carry enough food on my person to sustain her/him should the plane go down/campsite catch fire or some other event of a horrible nature occur! And I can't afford to get sued if a flight attendant/park ranger gets rabies after being bitten by my child/pet!"

And by the time you've exhausted all possible searchword combinations: "There's NO WAY IN HELL that I am taking this child/pet flying/camping. We are instead going to sit right here and stare at this wall. Until I start wondering how exactly that's going to affect our eyesight when we are elderly."

Lucky for me, the Guatemalan rarely Googles and is certainly not Googling "camping with dog". In fact, he should be purchasing a new tether and a huge bag of Pupperoni AS WE SPEAK.

So now all I really have to worry about is getting eaten by bears looking for deliciously sausagey dog treats. At least it's a much shorter list.

Tuesday, July 1

you want long and informative?

My prodigal half-cup measure has returned after having been left inside a mostly empty container of Quaker Instant Oats since at least March!

Also, I promised to tell you about the park we worked at in Hawai'i. So I will set aside my long-lost half-cup measure and do just that.

The park is called Pu'ukohola Heiau National Historic Site and contains, among other features, an ocean, and also at least three heiaus, or temples: Pu'ukohola, Mailekini, and Hale o Kapuni, which has been completely submerged right offshore since it was last seen in the 1950s and is dedicated to the shark gods.

Pu'ukohola Heiau was built by Kamehameha I himself in 1790-91. Kamehameha eventually conquered all of Hawai'i, thus uniting the islands under one rule. Kamehameha believed that by uniting the islands under one monarchy, the constant fighting among chiefs throughout the islands would be brought to a halt.

This is all starting to sound pretty historically detailed and, since we here at Something Made don't have that firm of a grasp of most major historical events, here is the short version: Kamehameha, who had already conquered the islands of Maui, Lana'i, and Moloka'i, was told by a prophet that he would be able to conquer all the remaining islands if he built a heiau dedicated to his family war god whose full name is wholly unpronounceable and starts with a 'K'. Okay, fine. It's Kuka'ilimoku. With lots of accent marks.

So he did.

And Pu'ukohola Heiau is the impressive result. Completely dry-laid stone, the heiau has an awesome view over the water and overlooks a second, older heiau called Mailekini and also Hale o Kapuni - or it would if anyone but sharks could see it.

Both Pu'ukohola and Mailekini were damaged in an earthquake in October of 2006 and currently the NPS service has a reconstruction crew working on Pu'ukohola. Supposedly, the workers who built the temple in the 1700s formed a twenty-mile human chain from the Pololu Valley on the northeast coast of the island and passed lava rocks hand-by-hand to the top of the hill on which Pu'ukohola stands, although with only about five full-time crew members and Adam, the sole park archaeologist, they aren't doing that today.

But they are rebuilding the temple with respect for native Hawaiian traditions and the groups who are proponents of a refocus on those traditions today. In the mornings, the crew gathered down by the ocean for a kind of cleansing ceremony in the flat, pearly water. They also lined up under the trees to perform their own personal dance/martial arts-type exercise called a haka during which they mimicked the motions they would use during the day, such as lifting large stones, and proclaimed their strength as stonemasons. A haka is sort of an affirmation of who you are as a group and what you intend to accomplish. Or at least, that was my take on it.

In the afternoons, the crew had an awa ceremony. You may have learned about kava if you took anthropology classes in college - a plant commonly used among western Pacific cultures that produces a calming effect and a numbing of the mouth. It's the same thing. Awa is pronounced like kava without the 'k'.

During the day, we could could hear Walter, the crew chief, chanting on top of the walls as they worked. Just in case he said. There's a special cleansing before you go into the heiau and after you come out. It involves Walter flicking water from what appeared to be a gourd bowl at you with leaves and making another chant. To get rid of anything bad in there that might have attached itself to you, he says. Walter's still learning all this stuff. Walter has been known to get a little enthusiastic with the water-flicking.

We were invited to participate in the daily morning and awa ceremonies, so we arrived to work at six every morning and stood facing west towards the quiet water. Eventually, all of us learned at least some of the chant. Such a soothing way to start the workday, hearing this chant lifted out over the sea.

One morning, we arrived to find two kapuna - practitioners of traditional Hawaiian culture or something like priests/priestesses, I think, but I'm fairly iffy on this - in the parking lot. "Ideally, we should take our clothes completely off," said the female kapuna. "But...since we are in a park, bathing suits are acceptable." They took us down to the beach for a full-fledged ceremony. Not the abbreviated version Walter usually led us in. The men stood down by the water with the male kapuna; the women stood with the female who led us into cool, slowly undulating patterns of ocean up to our necks. All I could see was flat ocean out to the pale horizon. It was silent except for the movement of the water and the low chanting of the kapuna. It was incredible.

During the awa ceremonies at the end of the day, Walter and the guys always laid out several large mats in the grass under the trees outside the park headquarters. They brought out two wooden bowls covered with a cloth. One bowl contained water; one bowl contained awa. We sat in an informal circle. The first and last awa scooped into the coconut shell was reserved for the kapuna - the most senior or respected person at the ceremony. When you are ready to take a cup of awa, you pa'i, or clap once. This signals to the person bringing the awa around the circle who to offer it to. Holding the awa indicated that it was your turn to speak, and anyone talking would quiet down to hear you. After taking the awa, someone would call what sounded to me like pa'i kai lima (but could have been something very different) - clap your hands - and everyone clapped three times. Then the coconut shell was tossed back to the server and returned to the person scooping out the awa who rinsed it in the water and then scooped out another drink.

I'm sure I don't understand a lot of what happened or the words that were spoken, but I know that we were given a great honor by being included in these ceremonies.

Perhaps the greatest honor paid to us was by Uncle Francis. While we were there, Uncle Francis, Master Stonemason from Maui, arrived with his small two-man crew to teach the reconstruction crew traditional methods of laying the stone. Part of what he was teaching them was how to listen to the stones so that they could be placed where they - the stones - wanted to be placed. These structures are amazing and the integrity of their walls undeniable. Maybe there's something to be said for listening more closely to the pieces of world that surround us.

Uncle Francis was funny, articulate, intelligent, and, I think, wise. About our neon-flag decorated range poles, he said during one awa ceremony: "I don't know what you guys are doing out there, but whatever you're doing, it looks Hawaiian." And before he left the Big Island, he wrote us our very own haka. A Haka Akeolokia. Artchaeologists' Haka. He left us with strict instructions to practice diligently during our remaining week because we would be performing it for the reconstruction crew as part of a farewell ceremony. It involved not only some moderately complicated moves, but also words. In Hawaiian. Hawaiian words that we were to memorize.

So we practiced for a week. Sleepily repeated our words in the Suburban on the way to work at 5:15 in the morning. Lined up in the grass outside of Halawa House to practice our moves. And performed it at 3:00 on our last afternoon for Adam, Walter, and the crew who watched intently and silently and then performed theirs back.

They were considerably more intense than we were. Downright scary as they stared us down. This was kind of a ritual battle between the archaeologists - the interlopers - and the reconstruction crew, who owned the place. When they had completed their stonemasons' haka, they came forward and embraced us all. We all aloha'ed each other by pressing forehead to forehead and staring into one another's eyes in a disconcerting (particularly if you are from Ohio) yet strangely satisfying way while breathing each other's breath.

At the final awa ceremony that followed, Walter took his coconut shell and said to us: "You did a great job with your haka. You have some work to do, but we are all very impressed. However, you did not seem scary at all. You seemed...pleasant."

Well, we may have missed the scary boat during the haka, but on this field project, we nailed the archaeology. Because we are kick-ass archaeologists, or, as we say during our haka: Ea Ma Kou na Haumana Mai Akeolokia.