if we all got along

We figured out the other day that if everybody in the world was the same, we'd all be the same.

Wait, no, how'd that go? It was: If everybody got along with everybody else, we'd never have anything to talk about. We'd all be extremely nice, boring people who approve of each other's husbands and agree that we are all effective decision-makers. In lieu of exchanging good, juicy gossip about each other, we would sit around all day discussing furniture styles and debating the merits of vegetarian chili versus the obviously much more delicious meat chili.

Of course, the outcome of our debates wouldn't matter, as all the participants would eventually tinkle out peals of gentil laughter and exclaim, "Oh, lawd! But after all, everyone's perfectly entitled to his or her chili-related opinion and we will all just agree that we will no longer attempt to serve chili to each other because the whole topic simply causes too much tension! Ha ha ha!"

Then we will be back to furniture styles.