a big to-do

Now that fall is coming, it's time to get serious. Fall is my busiest time of year, and I'm not talking about the influx of students who want to know how to describe dirt ("So...this is reddish-brown and not browny-orange? I don't get it."). And I'm also not talking about the massive amounts of writing homework that are already piling up on my...in my bag and around my bed, actually, since Raphael's classes this semester are not all about architecture for an interesting change and my desk is therefore currently bowing under the weight of a Bible, a Qur'an, a Spanish-to-English dictionary, a normal dictionary, a book about the pyramids, and a passed-out Guatemalan.

I'm talking about the other stuff.

You see, every year, as the weather cools and my fancies turn to other fancies, my list of Things To Do grows to ponderous proportions and morphs into some kind of ravenous sea monster. I can no more fight it than I could fight, well, a sea monster. And, being a scruffy little desert rat, I'm pretty poorly equipped for that sort of battle.

I've got to make limoncello, for example. I didn't realize this until last week when my supervisor (we'll call her Helen.) (Because her name is Helen.) made a batch of it and described to me the process of peeling the lemons and inadvertently clouding up the Everclear. All I could think was, "Oh my God, I haven't made limoncello in almost two years. I'm doing it tonight!"

Of course, peeling eight million lemons takes approximately three years, so I didn't start that night, but No. 1: Making Limoncello went directly onto my fall list.

In much the same Helen-related way, it happened this past week that No. 2: Making Prickly Pear Jelly also went on the list, followed closely by

No. 3: Cook Tami Extravagant Moving-to-Idaho-and-Marrying-Some-Guy-Named-Steve Good-Bye Meal;

No. 4: Artfully Decorate House with Gourds and Things;

Nos. 5,6, & 7: Mix Lime Paints and Paint the Living Room Yellow, Make Up Christmas Cookie Party Invitations In Advance and For Real this Year, and Create Many Punched-Tin Can Votive Holders to Hang in Adolescent Trees and create Sparkly Fairytale-Type Atmosphere in Yard;

and

No. 8: Create Weekly - Uh, Monthly Family Newsletter. Also For Real This Time.

In the fall, I turn into a regular Martha Stewart. A very lazy Martha Stewart who does not own her own magazine and has never gone to prison and is not particularly drawn to things made out of doilies.

The way I figure it, I could complete Nos. 1 through 7 by the end of this weekend if I buckled down. And if I had no homework. And if I could find my desk. And if I could cross Nos. 3, 5, and 7 off the list. And if I knew the date of the Cookie Party. And if I was really Martha Stewart. And had a staff.

Oh, and also if I didn't spend all my time addressing the all-important No. 9: Making the Big Fall To-Do List.