thinking big thoughts

I think America is afraid to have a female president. I really do. And I'll tell you what the main problem is: no one can figure out what to call her husband once she takes office.

So, because I'm pro-female president (depending on the female, of course), I've spent several minutes compiling some ideas so that we as Americans don't have to be afraid anymore.

Here are my ideas:

1. First Guy (says just like you)

2. First Dude (conveys friendly and cool; would buy you drinks)

3. First Gentleman (classy)

4. First Husband of a President (factual)

5. First Man to be (insert squeaky noises) the President on a Regular Basis (honest)

and

6. Just a Regular Guy Whose Wife Happens to be President (lucky)


Conveniently, most of these will also work well for when Americans finally put a gay guy in the White House, which should be at just about any minute now.

There. Don't you feel more at ease?