Raphael: You know how Obama wants to go after the economy with a scallop?
Raphael: And McCain wants to use a hack?
Wavy eighties-sitcom-type dimensional shift takes us into the seamy world of presidential politics…
Obama (holds out scallop to the American people): Here, guys, I really hope this helps.
McCain (slaps forehead): You can’t save the economy with THAT, man! You’ve got to use a hack! Like this one!
Hack: Jobs for everyone! I promise!
Obama: You’re a hack, McCain.
McCain: Oh yeah? Well I smell something fishy around here, O-bam-a. And it’s you. With your scallop.
Obama: A scallop is not a fish. It’s a marine bivalve mollusk of the family Pectinidae. No wonder you’re not president.
Hack: And we’ll all go to Paris next summer!
Scallop: I want to go to Paris.
McCain: Shut up, Scallop.
Obama: Don’t talk to my scallop that way. It’s going to save the economy.
Scallop: I’d really rather go to Paris.
Wavy eighties-sitcom-type dimensional shift returns us to Jenny’s desk in Tucson where the calorie-counting is not going so well…
Jenny: Just to clarify, you do mean “scalpel” and “hatchet”, right?
Raphael: Probably. Those sound more right.
Jenny: Well, either way, I probably should’ve voted Libertarian.