Thursday, November 13

scallops and hacks

Raphael: You know how Obama wants to go after the economy with a scallop?

Jenny: No.

Raphael: And McCain wants to use a hack?

Wavy eighties-sitcom-type dimensional shift takes us into the seamy world of presidential politics…

Obama (holds out scallop to the American people): Here, guys, I really hope this helps.

McCain (slaps forehead): You can’t save the economy with THAT, man! You’ve got to use a hack! Like this one!

Hack: Jobs for everyone! I promise!

Obama: You’re a hack, McCain.

McCain: Oh yeah? Well I smell something fishy around here, O-bam-a. And it’s you. With your scallop.

Obama: A scallop is not a fish. It’s a marine bivalve mollusk of the family Pectinidae. No wonder you’re not president.

Hack: And we’ll all go to Paris next summer!

Scallop: I want to go to Paris.

McCain: Shut up, Scallop.

Obama: Don’t talk to my scallop that way. It’s going to save the economy.

Scallop: I’d really rather go to Paris.

Wavy eighties-sitcom-type dimensional shift returns us to Jenny’s desk in Tucson where the calorie-counting is not going so well…

Jenny: Just to clarify, you do mean “scalpel” and “hatchet”, right?

Raphael: Probably. Those sound more right.

Jenny: Well, either way, I probably should’ve voted Libertarian.


Wingal said...

I'm glad you keep Raphael around.. he's a source of endless amusement! That was my big laugh for the day, for sure! Now I'm craving economical seafood...

Melinda said...

If Obama DID decide to use a scallop to fix the economy, he could totally make it work. With hope.