we got no dinosaurs in the filing cabinets, people

According to the internet, March is Women's History Month, National Nutrition Month, Multiple Sclerosis Awareness Month, Math Holiday Month, and, disconcertingly, Kidney Month. Most importantly of all, March is also Archaeology Month. You might have been aware of this already, if you're like me, with Archaeology Month posters hanging all over your work place, and those stacks of brochures you like to foist upon unsuspecting passersby during your lunch break. The whole thing's exciting as a new toothbrush, really.

Anyway, in honor of Archaeology Month, I have decided to do two things:

1. Write an Archaeology Song (it's high time someone did)

and

2. Tell you about my day

Number 1, I will do tomorrow. Number 2, I will address below.

If you're like most people, when you meet an archaeologist, the first thing you do is say, "Wow, really? I always wanted to be an archaeologist but I was way smarter than that". The second thing you say is, "So do you know about that new dinosaur they just found? They found all the bones and the laterally interior mandibular thyroidazeses (which you never get), and even the cranial whatzit was intact, and it's supposedly the most amazing discovery ever documented because it was actually STILL ALIVE." And then, when I indicate that, it's true, dinosaurs are super-awesome and all, but that's not really what we archaeologists do, you sort of step back and look a little puzzled (or perhaps concerned) and you say, "So...what do you guys do anyway?"

Well, today is your lucky day, because I'm going to tell you exactly what I do when I'm not fleeing headhunting pygmies in a tattered evening gown through the jungle, leaping rocky chasms on my trusty steed, sipping yak butter tea high in the Himalayas while fondling the priceless gold medallion I have hidden in my underpants, or infiltrating Nazi headquarters and making love to hot blonde frauleins. (Oh, you got me! I totally made that last one up!)

So - gosh. Where to start? This week, I have:

1. Created a seven-question ceramics quiz for Girl Scouts.
2. Printed a bunch of stuff.
3. Given an exam that included questions about Latitude and Longitude.
4. Graded at least fifteen quizzes that had something to do with genetics and which many people failed.
5. Stapled some stuff.
6. Looked at my house on Google Earth.
7. Looked at my co-worker's house on Google Earth.
8. Put the big black cart back upstairs where it belongs.
9. Said about one artifact, "That shell is definitely bone."
10. Said about another artifact, "That bone is definitely not human."
11. Said about a third artifact, "That piece of ceramic is actually a rock."
12. Avoided one of my students.
13. Run away from that same student when the whole avoidance plan backfired.
14. Lost the credit card for the Suburban.
15. Found the credit card for the Suburban.
16. Decided that what I really could use is some purple flats.
17. Eaten two mini-Twix bars.
18. Showed someone how to use the VCR.
19. Created about eight million flyers.
20. Spilled lentils in my keyboard.

And I could go on...!

But I won't because dinner is just about ready, and I've got a big day ahead of me tomorrow: celebrating Archaeology Month (and - of course! - Kidney Month) by way of manning a booth at the Archaeology Expo at the Pueblo Grande Museum in Phoenix while simultaneously eating as much frybread as humanly possible. I can't wait until those Girl Scouts ask me what being an archaeologist is all about!