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Wednesday, July 15

like Prometheus and his banana

I despise bananas. And there aren't that many foods out there that I despise (although bananas come to mind). I'm not fond of rutabegas, of course, but I certainly don't "despise" them. I mean, I don't want to "eat" them, but I don't "despise" them. I can't think of another food I despise right now at all, actually, possibly because my salmon was bad when I went to have it for lunch today (like, bad, not, you know, bad - like bananas), and so I wound up having brown rice and limp asparagus and plantain chips and now I'm ravenous. Anything sounds pretty delicious right now. Except bananas. Oh, and bad salmon.

Okay, so we all get it. I hate bananas. Why then do I eat a banana every day? (Except weekend days. Weekends are my banana-free zone. I often replace my morning banana with forgetting to eat breakfast at all.)

I used to get horrendous leg cramps every night. Every night at three a.m., and also every morning when I woke up and stre-e-e-tched my legs down towards the bottom of the bed and ARRRGGHH! They always cramped up. Always, and you know what, stick with the usual beeping alarm clock sounds to wake you up, if you have any say in the matter, because waking up to leg cramps is much much worse than beeping alarm clock sounds.

It's also much worse than waking up to having to eat bananas, thus rendering bananas the lesser of two evils for a change.

You can imagine my desperation, I assume, now that I've described for you the murky depths of my disgust for this "fruit", this... horrible...yellow...sickle-shaped...fruit...thing. I had nowhere else to turn. Clearly, I needed potassium or water or salt or prosthetic calves or something. The internet was no help. Everywhere I turned, everyone said, "Drink more water. Oh, and try eating bananas." GAH. Stupid internet.

But then one morning, about three months ago, after a particularly nasty bout of wake-up leg cramps, I turned to a banana. I ate it on Trader Joe's O's with plenty of milk and honey to mask the taste (which is impossible, by the way). The following morning, I had another banana on my O's. And the morning after that. And before you knew it, it was today and it occurred to me on the way to work that I haven't had a leg cramp in...three months.

So bananas have saved my life. Even though I detest them, I'm chained to them like Prometheus to...it was a giant banana, right? I'm sure it was. Anyway, like Prometheus, I can never stop eating bananas until somebody develops a banana in a convenient (and preferably round) pill-form.

I've been freed from the tyranny of morning leg cramps and it was bananas that done it, hallelujah, and so I love bananas. It's just eating them that I hate.

5 comments:

Betty said...

Does it have to be a "raw" banana?
Blake does not eat fruit very well, but will drink smoothies and eat muffins. Thought you might like it better in something else??

Jenny said...

Good advice that I wasn't smart enough to come up with on my own! I'm sure raw isn't required, but now I'm in a routine. Also, I find it easier just to choke them down as fast as possible rather than expend energy making things out of them that will still be at least vaguely banana-flavored and therefore kind of yucky.

Tell Blake he's a smart kid and to keep demanding the good stuff. Smoothies rock! Fight the fruit!

julie said...

You could drink Pedialyte - plenty of potassium!

Jen said...

Uhm...you could just take a potassium supplement. No flavor and a handy pill form. You can buy them at any health food store, and they, too cure leg cramps. ;-) Too easy, I know...

Just Another Jenny said...

http://www.buzzle.com/articles/potassium-rich-foods-list-of-foods-high-in-potassium.html

1 cup of cantaloupe has about the same amount of potassium as a banana (higher actually.) My dad detested anything having to do with bananas -- even banana bread.