the box wasn't ticking, so i probably should have known...

Double Chocolate Coffee Oatmeal Stout -
found on my porch this afternoon.

So my parents cleverly waited until I was living thirty hours away by car to start doing fun things without me.  These days, they frequent a place called Bruning's Clock Shop in Beavercreek, Ohio.  (If you click on that link, you'll find pictures of some Bruning's regulars that include my parents.  See?  I can't make this stuff up.)  

I like to think of Bruning's Clock Shop as a kind a modern-day speakeasy.  They sell clocks, of course, so if you're in the market for a clock, there's no better destination.  But, similarly to a speakeasy, they also sell wine.  And not everybody knows it.  Or maybe a lot of people know it by now.  Just like during Prohibition! 

I don't know the origin of this whole clock/wine concept.  It might be that clocks don't sell so well these days when your pen is actually a computer and you can just ask it what time it is and not have to deal with any ticking or bonging.  Personally, I like the juxtaposition of timepieces and alcohol, two things which historically haven't always exactly meshed.  Anyway, Bruning's has a bar and everything, and you can tell your troubles to the wine guy at the bar if you want and you can see what time it is on any one of hundreds of different clocks at any moment.  And there's little cubes of cheese.

This setup is convenient for my parents, because when their friends spot the ol' minivan in the parking lot, they doubtlessly assume my parents are shopping for clocks again.  Goodness gracious! (My parents' friends probably say to themselves.) They were shopping for clocks last Sunday, too!  How many clocks can two people adequately maintain?  Meanwhile, my parents (their reputations safely intact) are ponied up to the bar, sharing a flight of wine, relating their troubles to the wine guy, checking the time a lot, and consuming small cubes of cheese.   

I'm telling you all this because I came home from work this evening, depleted and hungry, and there was a box of beer and wine on my porch.  (That's how any self-respecting Monday should go, of course, but you and I both know it doesn't always work out that way.)  It was from Bruning's Clock Shop.  More specifically, it was from my parents, who were apparently out having fun without me again a couple weekends ago. 

I'm pleased with this box on so many levels.  First of all, I love that my parents wanted to surprise me.  Secondly, it's a box of beer and wine.  Thirdly, it arrived on a Monday.  Fourthly, I'm totally going to try that beer tonight.*  And, finally, the return address label says: "Bruning's Clock Shop", so as far as the mailperson is concerned, I just got a clock delivered to me in the mail.  Or more likely - in a box so strangely heavy and lumpy - a handful of clocks.  (For a few seconds there, I thought maybe my parents had sent me a box of clocks.)  In conclusion, my reputation with the USPS remains unspoiled.  Cheers to that!

* Update!  OMG.  Yum.  It's Founders Brewing Co. Breakfast Stout and it's really, really good.  It actually tastes like chocolate, coffee, and stout all mixed together into the perfect beer for a chilly, fall night.  It's wildly appropriate that I'm drinking this Breakfast Stout right now, too.  Dinner tonight?  Bacon, eggs, and toast. 

Thanks, Mom & Dad!  You're the awesomist!