Tuesday, February 26

Like many of you, I'm on hold

Like many of you, I'm on hold.

I'm trying to call Net10 who I always stick up for because they've never (really) done me wrong before. But today they charged me twice for the same transaction, and so now we're engaged in a battle of wills. I refuse to hang up, even though it's been 51 minutes, and they refuse to quit playing the same awful scratchy elevator jazz tune over and over and over. The outer layer of my brain is beginning to slough off. And, I never thought I'd say this, but thank god for the fool who invented the speakerphone...


This post is no longer relevant.

Rock on!

At 52 minutes, they finally picked up, and a nice foreign gentleman whose name I didn't catch fixed things and made at least two statements that actual humans might actually make before panicking and reverting back to his official card.

And actually, no, it's still relevant because:

a. I'm down a lot of brain cells after being subjected to that "music" for an hour, not to mention whatever waves come out of a cell phone you're pressing hard against your ear prior to remembering about the speakphone. I needed those brain cells for my stockpile.

b. It's still going to take 24 to 48 hours for the money to be put back on my card which means my lifestyle has been adversely affected. Farewell, my dream of purchasing sixteen To-Go Cups of Sour Neon Gummy Worms from the cafeteria this afternoon.

c. Some poor soul somewhere is still on hold, and now I'll be melancholy and irritable about it all day and respond inappropriately in classroom situations. 

Student: I still don't get how to figure out longitude on a map. And what is longitude? And I thought this was an English class when I signed up for it.

Jenny: My god, man! I have no time for this! People are on hold out there! Do you understand?! On hold!!


d. Now my hair is messed up, because I couldn't reach the hair dryer in time because I was on hold with Net10 for 51 minutes and experiencing rage-induced hallucinations brought on by the music.

Student: Could you help me with --


Student: Wait a minute - isn't this Jazz Dance I? Why am I holding a GPS unit? And what exactly is a pencil?

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