Thursday, November 15

on the agenda: to plan or not to plan...

Have you worked it out yet that -- on occasion -- I will click on "New Post" and simply start spewing forth whatever comes to mind with no thought of plot or character development -- or even denouement?

Yes. I do that. And, even more shocking, I am doing that right now. Ha!

But you know, I bet it's even more shocking to you that I know the word denouement, right? I'm a little bemused by the whole thing myself, actually.

Now if only I knew what "bemused" means...

Somewhat disappointingly, the only thing coming to mind this evening, besides French words that have to do with literary works that I am currently not working on, is that I ordered a Turkey tonight. I went with a 12 to 14 pounder in case anyone was perched on the edge of their seat wondering.

I kind of figure that, with a smaller Turkey (and without a reliable meat thermometer which I apparently do not own - you know who you are, meat thermometer) it's slightly more likely that I will cook the Turkey all the way through this year than with a larger bird like the behemoth I inadvertently got last year no thanks to a store which will remain nameless but which happens to rhyme with "Child Coats" which are apparently things that small people are traditionally required to wear in parts of the country that are not here during the wintry month of November.

How was that for a run-on? See? This is the kind of thing that happens when I have no plan*.

So, to recap, yes, this year I plan to cook the bird all the way through. Even if it's by accident.

I am really looking forward to Thanksgiving. Would you like a preview of my agenda? Yes? Yes? Really? Frankly, I'm a little bemused again, but...okay:

7:00 Reveille

7:35 Calisthenics

8:15 Breakfasty pastries and perhaps a hot shower

8:50 Poking at turkey with furrowed brow. Oh god, is it still frozen?

9:30 Traditional Holiday Morning Mimosas. Because now that I'm a mature and responsible adult, I can have alcohol whenever I want. Even before ten! And also the state of the Bird is somewhat worrisome.

10:00 Celebration over at Midnight Margaritas. Everyone's welcome. Bring your own private jokes.

10:05 Forgot I was supposed to be watching Thanksgiving Day parades.

10:07 Forgot I was supposed to be making the biscuits.

10:08-1:29 Free time! Perhaps some swimming in the lake, napping in the cabin, running underwear up the's totally up to me!

1:30 As long as the Bird gets done by


2:31 when the neighbor comes over to help eat it

2:32 ...assuming she's not actually (though we are nursing a suspician that she is) a vegetarian.

2:33 Well, by

2:35 we'll know for sure.

* Although, having a plan doesn't always help, I suppose.


Charity said...

From my friends (and yours) at Cooks Illustrated/America's Test Kitchen:

The most common problem cooks face on Thanksgiving morning is a turkey that is still partially frozen. Count on 1 day of defrosting time for each 5 pounds of turkey—and plan to have it completely defrosted the day before Thanksgiving. If you find a partially frozen turkey on Thursday morning, place the turkey without the wrapping and giblets in a large bucket or sink filled with very cold water. Change the water every 30 minutes until the turkey is defrosted.

In other words, put the turkey in a bucket of cold water before mixing your drink. Change the water each time you refill your drink.

Jenny said...

THIS is the kind of advice I like.

Anonymous said...

sounds like, in addition to the family rutabaga tradition, you're also continuing the tradition of the cooking of the frozen bird!

Jenny said...

hey, tradition is tradition.