Hair products. I am a dunce with hair products. In fact, I have no hair skills whatsoever. Is there a gene I can get for this type of thing?
Everyone's been coming into school with adorable new haircuts for spring, little flippy things with pretty streaks that accentuate their perfect cheekbones and bring out the color of their eyes.
My hair, on the other hand, looks like someone threw a llama at my head, lit it on fire, and then fluffed it a bit with a fork. It's like overcooked pasta. I don't need a haircut. I need a good meat sauce. Actually, I'm beginning to think I need to just shave myself bald and start all over again. Maybe it will grow in thicker and blonder and longer. And also curly.
And maybe it will make me smarter and give me the ability to fly.