People! They make quinoa that is red! And they call it "Inca Red"!
The name "Inca Red" is so exotic. It makes me want to buy more of it so that other shoppers can spot my box of "Inca Red" poking up out of my basket and say to themselves: "My, what an interesting person she must be, to be buying such an exotic food item, and probably exotic herself in some indiscernable way..." and then follow me around the store, peering around the bread display and pretending to be interested in the organic mangoes in order to get a better look at me in order to determine how exotic I really am. I hope they're hot guys doing this, these shoppers.
Anyway, I like the Inca Red quinoa and think it's probably even more useful than the non-Inca Red variety on account of its color. Which is blue.
Ha ha! Just kidding! In fact it's red.
Ways to use your Inca Red quinoa:
1. Eat it.
2. Throw it at people.
3. Hold it up to your wall to see if you would like your walls to be Inca Red.
4. Scatter it across the sidewalk so people will slip on it in hilarious ways.
5. Have an Inca Red Quinoa Fiesta where you serve only Inca Red quinoa. And lots and lots of beer.
6. See if babies will eat it without crying.
7. Throw it at cats.
8. Play tiny marbles with it if you have very tiny friends.
9. Party like it's 1999! While throwing Inca Red confetti at your peers! Yeehaw!
10. Take it on a kick-ass roadtrip.