Monday, December 29

the gift of the electric blanket

I read a book recently in which the residents of a small town in Germany periodically receive mysterious gifts from a person they call the Unknown Benefactor. They receive only items that they really want but can't have for some reason - so, for example, a boy whose mother insists on dressing him in girls' clothing finds that a pair of lederhosen has been left for him at his home one day. So the Unknown Benefactor is all about anonymously providing necessary things. Like lederhosen.

What's most interesting about this book is that Raphael and I have an Unknown Benefactor.

Someone or ones left on our porch two days ago what appeared to be a new electric blanket. We found no note. We were unable to obtain fingerprints. The cops were no help. And Lila was not able to describe in any helpful way the precise smell of the person who came up onto our porch in broad daylight and left an electric blanket by the door. (Us: Did you know the person, Lila? Did you recognize their smell? What did they smell like? Did they smell like the neighbors? Did they smell like beer? Dirt? Broccoli? What? Lila: Rarf!)

We have reason to believe that the suspect - the Unknown Benefactor - may have been inside our house recently. Most likely as recently as the Cookie Party. Our reason is that only someone who had entered our house within the last two or three weeks would have known how cold our place is and how welcome an electric blanket might actually be.

We like having an Unknown Benefactor, even though it's been driving us crazy for two days wondering who this person is. We've questioned people. We've made wild surmises. We've considered the possibility that someone is out to get us (Unknown Benefactor - sitting at home rubbing palms together and twirling mustache: Heheheh! My plan is working! Any minute now, one of them will drop that plugged-in blanket into a bathtub full of hot water and they and their repulsive little house and that dog will be blown to smithereens!).

We've also used the electric blanket every evening - that's two entire evenings - since it appeared on our porch, wrapping up to watch movies and be warm for a pleasant change. We'd almost forgotten what warm felt like. And, in case the Unknown Benefactor is reading this, and unless this is all part of some diabolical scheme to rid the world of our little family once and for all by turning our own stupidity against us, we would like to say:

Unknown Benefactor, you totally rock. We love our new electric blanket, and we use it all the time, and thanks for not leaving lederhosen instead. And also...who the heck are you?

1 comment:

Jen said...

That is SO awesome. Seth and I also LOVE our electric blanket. The upstairs of our 1935 home doesn't heat so well, so it's the only thing that keeps my teeth from chattering long into the cold, Cleveland winter nights. Enjoy! (And good luck finding that mysterious benefactor!)