Monday, March 23
there was a naturalization preparty, naturally
We had an Impending Naturalization Preparty last night and Raphael received many unexpected gifts.
a John Deere gift bag containing:
- a big American flag magnet for the fridge
- a red, white, and blue Budweiser "King of Beers" baseball cap with a bottle opener built into the brim (to wear to his naturalization ceremony, presumably)
- three small flags to wave around or give to small children as parting gifts
- a 40-oz Budweiser in a paper bag
Grant and Raphael get all patriotic.
He also got:
- a camouflage University of Arizona baseball cap (so he can hide from la migra, perhaps? It's true that some habits are hard to break.)
- a bottle of wine from Sonoita
- two t-shirts, one which says "America" and has three red, white, and blue hearts on it, and one which says "America, est. 1776" and has a picture of the flag on it so that he will never forget the answer to that one question whose answer was "1776"
- a convenient "shirt-pocket edition" of The Declaration of Independence and The Constitution of the United States for handy reference the next time somebody threatens to deport him ("You can't deport me! I have a copy of the Constitution right here!")
- a 6-pack of Budweiser American Ale. In case deportation occurs in spite of it all. ("Ah, what the hell. I'll just get drunk.")
- a hangover
A toast to not being deported!
It was a very nice party during which Raphael made a long, impassioned speech and the dog developed some weird-ass phobia related to party horns and as a result refuses to get anywhere near the bathroom anymore. It's just so nice to have speeches and parties and pointless phobias instead of sobbing and paranoia around here again.
Oh, and I found lots of stuff for you, too. I found you the ultimate cocktail party combo: the sweet-but-not-too-sweet, oh-so-sophisticated champagne-based Blood Orange French 75 (which I made with Cara Cara oranges) with a bowl of Sugar and Spice Pepitas. This is a perfectly versatile combination that would fit in equally well at your next "America, F*** Yeah!!" party or your next baby shower, or any sort of combination of the two. Very girly. Also totally kickass.
Also popular were the Roasted Asparagus and Red Onion Quesadillas with pepper Jack cheese and a cumin-lime sauce. Yumster. Oh, and the Mexican Chocolate Cake, of course. If you ever make it, follow the tweaks people have left in the comments section of the recipe - double the cinnamon, add cayenne, and decrease both the vanilla and the baking time. There are also easier ways to make a chocolate glaze out there, or maybe I'm just an idiot. I don't want to talk about it.
Raphael heart heart hearts America but feels fairly neutral about PBR when it comes right down to it.