We now have PROOF that puppies can ONLY be NOTHING MORE THAN amazing little miracles sent down to earth by some BENEVOLENT deity. Allow me to prove it to you.
In the past three weeks Lila has:
1. learned how to lift the toilet seat with only her nose.
2. learned how to lift the hamper lid with only her nose.
3. kept us up for several nights in a row solely by using her voice to impress upon us the severity of her impending diarrhea. (Dogs are smart.)
4. learned that the easiest way to get chicken for every meal is to have diarrhea every two hours every night for at least three nights in a row. More if you haven't just been spayed. (Oh that's some nice drugs.) (And chicken is apparently good for diarrhea.)
5. learned that white stuff falling from the sky is not only not dandruff but it's also very, very cold and she'd just as soon be inside curled up by the heater. Thank you.
6. learned how to get up on counters/tables/beds/Jenny by using only her gigantic front paws, her extremely well-developed sense of balance, and the magical chicken/sock-sensing springs apparently built into her hind legs. (Handy, those.)
7. learned that, upon making a kill, it is better to sneak your prey (i.e. shoes/socks/underwear) immediately into your den (i.e. crate) rather than consuming it in public (i.e. the living room) in order to maximize the period of consumption available to you in relation to said prey.
8. figured out, MacGuyver-style, how to open the back door using nothing more than a doorknob, a forgotten Christmas jinglebell, and a well-placed nose.
9. learned that, if you can cry loud enough and for long enough, the shower will eventually relinquish your loved ones. But, as we all know, that's a big "if".
10. determined through intensive scientific research that oranges are good to eat, but carrots are really only good for chewing. Or, as we in the scientific community like to say, "masticating".
11. established herself supreme head leader of a puppy coup to take over the world. (This one is not actually true.)
Sugar and spice, man, sugar...and...spice.