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Wednesday, March 14

Un Poquito de Lunch Hour Lunacy

The world has ended and Latino youth with a bullhorn have taken over what's left.

At least that's what it feels like.

It's Spring Break and I'm on my lunch hour.

(Which, as a result of me having a new job, is an actual hour.)

So a few minutes ago, I rambled up to the ladies' room-

(which, as a result of me having a new job, is now a three-minute walk outside, around the corner, up a ramp, up some stairs, across a courtyard, up some more stairs, past a Pepsi machine, down a poorly lit corridor, and into another giant bunker-like building)

-and realized that this place is utterly deserted.

I was alone in the corridor, silent concrete walls looming gloomily overhead, blocking out the sun. Even the bathroom light was off. It was all very silent and strangely creepy.

And then I turned the light on.

Mission accomplished, I headed back to my emptier-than-thou office. I tried to keep to the brightly optimistic sunny patches spattering the echoey courtyard in order to stave off creeped-out-ness, but I couldn't help imagining that the Apocolypse had come and gone and evidently had no desire to take me with it for whatever reason and here I was the only one left at the college, in Tucson, maybe in the whole...

"Vives estudiantes muys Latinos!"

(Now, I'm no Spanish-speaker, but...)

I'm not alone! I'm not the only one left! I forgot all about that Latino teen conference gigante being held somewhere on the other side of the campus! I'm saved! Hey, guys, over-

-oh my God.

Latino teens have taken over the campus. Maybe all of Tucson. Maybe the world.


Well, I guess I knew this was coming.


And, as a result of me having a new job, I've still got 27 minutes left in which to finish my lunch and learn Spanish.

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