suggestive wines (or parental shenanigans)

My parents.

You remember how duplicitous they are? How they regularly drive to to the Clock Shop in the minivan and pretend it's all about clocks and minivans for the benefit of the neighbors?

Well, it's not all about clocks and minivans which, if we didn't all know it before, has become abundantly clear now that my parents are sending us Suggestive Wines on a semi-regular basis.

Here is a picture of the Fetish Wine they sent me in December of 2002 (according to my phone). Actually, I believe it was last January, and I believe my phone is a creature of the devil. Or maybe it was simply (and understandably!) addled by the sexy lady-silhouette printed on the pornographic bottle of wine my parents sent me.

Do Mom and Dad even know what the word "fetish" means?
For the sake of humanity, I hope not. 

And here is a picture of the Sexual Chocolate wine that arrived on the porch just this afternoon:

Do Mom and Dad even know
what the word "Chocolate" means?!

Brunings. These are the people who are doing all the damage.
If you live in Ohio, you should go there to support my parents' "clock" habit.
Because the people at Bruning's are awesome
with all their clocks and their wine and their shenanigans.